EST: EXTERIOR OF A LARGE OFFICE BUILDING
We see an image of what seems to be a fairly upscale high rise office building.
INT: CONFERENCE ROOM
A group of three camo-clad Marines are sitting in a board room. This includes a GENERAL, a MALE MARINE, and a FEMALE MARINE. Joining them in the room are two professionally-dressed advertising executives. One is a MALE AD EXEC and the other is a FEMALE AD EXEC. They are joined by BILLY the intern.
MALE AD EXEC:
Alright. This is it. The big day. AIJB has spent the last several months working on your new Marine Corps recruiting campaign, and we’re very excited about what we came up with.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
We just know you’re going to love it. Why, I think even I want to sign up!
They all forces a laugh.
FEMALE AD EXEC (CONT’D):
Seriously. I would. But I have an out of control cocaine habit. You know us advertising people. (She pantomimes snorting cocaine) Snort. Snort.
This time only she laughs. Billy’s eyes get big.
MARINE GENERAL:
Right. Well, good. We take recruitment very seriously. And we’ve spent a lot of money on this. So, let’s see what you got.
MALE AD EXEC:
OK, get ready. This is our intern, Billy. He’s going to help us out today. Billy, go ahead and show us the first board of our Marine Corps Recruitment Campaign.
The intern props a large board on an easel. It’s nothing but a large picture of a total bro-dude, well-built, smiling, wearing sunglasses, a t-shirt, and trucker-style hat.
MALE AD EXEC:
This … is the new face of the United States Marine Corps!
FEMALE AD EXEC:
And you know why he’s in such a good mood? Becaaaaaause...
Billy slaps a word bubble next to Party Time Super Dave. It reads: "Everything is Super!"
FEMALE AD EXEC:
…everything is super! That’s his catchphrase.
MALE AD EXEC:
You see, Marines are like super heroes. SUPER heroes. That’s why he’s SUPER Dave.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
But when he’s not saving the world from evil, he likes to get down. Maybe throw back some Fireball shots. So his full name is...
MALE AD EXEC:
Next board, Billy.
Billy closes his eyes for a moment, almost as a silent prayer. He pulls up the next board. Inside a comic-book like word flash, it says in huge letters PTSD.
FEMALE AD EXEC (CONT’D):
...PARTY TIME Super Dave.
MALE AD EXEC:
Boom!
GENERAL:
Alright. Alright. I like what I’m seeing here. This is good. Party Time Super Dave.
Billy shyly half raises his hand.
BILLY:
Hello? Hi? I know I’m only the intern, but can I just say something...
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Billy, let’s not interrupt the General.
BILLY:
But I kind of think this is important...
MALE AD EXEC:
Hang tight, Billy. I think the General is liking this.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
(pointing at Billy) He’s such an eager beaver.
They all force a laugh.
MALE MARINE:
I agree with the General. I like this. A lot. But I do have a question.
MALE AD EXEC:
Fire away! Trust me. We’ve thought this out. We know the entire backstory to this character.
MALE MARINE:
Well, it’s just that Party Time Super Dave isn’t dressed in camo. He’s in civilian attire. Might that be confusing?
FAMALE MARINE:
I agree. Is Party Time Super Dave even on active duty?
MALE AD EXEC:
That’s a great question. And the answer is no. He’s not. Party Time Super Dave is just back from his fifth tour in Iraq. He’s a true warrior. And now he’s stateside. We’re showing the non-combat side of being a Marine.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Party Time Super Dave spends a lot of time drinking alone at the bar.
Billy covers his face. He’s mortified.
BILLY:
(to himself) Oh, sweet Jesus.
GENERAL:
Alright! That’s my kind of Marine! Tell me, though. Family is very important to the Corps. Does Party Time Super Dave have anyone special in his life?
MALE AD EXEC:
He does! It’s a part of his backstory. Party Time Super Dave has a wife and three kids. But, in these ads, we never actually see them.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Because he spends a lot of time alone at the bar.
BILLY:
Can I be excused?
MALE AD EXEC:
(smiling and not looking at Billy) No you may not.
MALE MARINE:
(laughing) I like Party Time Super Dave! He seems fun. But our recruits tend to like gear and gadgets. What about his car? What does Party Time Super Dave drive?
FEMALE MARINE:
Maybe we can work in some cross-sponsorship with one of our automotive partners.
MALE AD EXEC:
That’s a great idea. Because Party Time Super Dave drives a huge pickup truck AND he’s really into road safety.
MALE MARINE:
Wow. You have thought of everything.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
We’d like to build a TV spot where somebody cuts Party Time Super Dave off. So he gets out of his truck at a red light, approaches the other car, and pounds violently on the driver side window to remind the guy, hey, you should drive more carefully.
GENERAL:
You know, I like the way Party Time Super Dave thinks of others. How long does he pound on that window?
MALE AD EXEC:
Easily five minutes.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
He literally has to be pulled away.
MALE AD EXEC:
That’s how much he cares about road safety.
FEMALE MARINE:
Wow. Party Time Super Dave sounds pretty amazing! And very manly. But how does this help with female recruitment?
MALE MARINE:
Yes, and also maybe our more studious candidates. Does Party Time Super Dave have ... a softer side?
MALE AD EXEC:
Another great question. Yes he does! Party Time Super Dave literally cries all the time.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Usually at the bar.
BILLY:
Ryan. Steve. Andrew. These are all great names. Maybe we should reconsider Dave.
GENERAL:
Sorry, young man. I like Dave. Knew a Dave once back in basic training. I think he’s homeless in Denver right now. But back then he was a hoot!
MALE MARINE:
Oh, I think we’ve all met a Dave.
They all force laughter.
MALE MARINE (CONT’D)
Look, I love all of this. I think you guys nailed it. But it sounds like Party Time Super Dave is pretty busy being awesome. Does he have a sidekick or a best friend? Because maybe he needs some help. Who’s helping Party Time Super Dave?
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Literally nobody! Finding a good helper would take at least a month and a half. And Party Time Super Dave is way to busy being awesome to wait that long.
MALE AD EXEC:
Truth is, he probably needs lots of help. But he’s definitely not getting any.
BILLY:
Gary. Howard. Paul. These are all great names!
MALE AD EXEC:
Say, Billy, why don’t you put up that final print for us. Everyone, this is going to be our first big highway billboard.
Billy reluctantly puts up the final board. It’s wider than the others, and shaped like a billboard.
The board shows Party Time Super Dave throwing back a shot. The first line of text reads: JOIN THE MARINES and the second line reads: NEVER SLEEP AT NIGHT AGAIN! The ad execs read the text.
MALE AD EXEC:
Join the Marines.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Never sleep at night again.
MALE AD EXEC:
Because even an off duty marine is always ready to go.
FEMALE AD EXEC:
Usually at the bar.
GENERAL:
Ha! I love it. This is just great. Party Time Super Dave is the future of the Marine Corps. I don’t see how this could possibly backfire. Good work!
They all shake hands.
--- END ---
About: This sketch was inspired by a friend who told me he was working freelance with a firm who was doing advertising strategies for Marine Corps recruiting. All of their work seemed sound, smart, and logical, so I started to think, instead, what the worst possible marketing strategy might be. That’s when I came up with the idea Party Time Super Dave which is, of course, ridiculous and offensive. But I thought it had the making of good satire, and could be the basis for a sketch about how soldiers come back from fighting overseas and often aren’t able to get the help they need and deserve. Obviously, there is nothing funny about PTSD, but if a satirical sketch can drive home the point about sufferers needing better access to help, there’s no harm in having a laugh.