Home


[ the views expressed on this website are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer ]

Latest CNN Column
April 418, 2014 :: Virtual soda drinking
----------------------------------------
Also, below, please listen to my band's brand new album, Making Babies.
Music by Animal & the Evolvers is available on iTunes.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Read your article on HDMI cables on cnn.com. GREAT writing! Keep it up - the world NEEDS a new Dave Barry... we seem to have misplaced the old one.

mmschoenherr said...

Dear Jarrett,
I just read your "Apparently This Matters: Doritos Locos Tacos" article on CNN.com and would like you to know that...yes..eye herpes is in fact a thing.

That is all :)
-Megan

JenA said...

High five from another night person! Your article regarding morning people being happier made ME happy anyway. Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

love your writing! i look forward to it every week on CNN.

Mathew Hagan said...

I found your column on CNN, and through that, your webpage. It's nice to find good humor writers. Especially funny ones, with or without eye-herpes.

Anonymous said...

Apparently this Matters: Jarrett Bellini!

Diamond Head said...

Found - Frozen Yogurt Girl next to the Hot Soda Jerk. Together seen dipping into something.

Blackthought said...

Found my new favorite quasi frequent article writer. Love the style man, love the style.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know that we got done reading your article "Apparently This Matters". We are very disappointed that it was the same as last week’s. We're planning a riot in honor of your absence.

Sincerely,
Concerned CNN trolls everywhere

Amanda said...

Very good CNN article regarding cell phones. Not only true but very clever writing.. couldn't stop laughing..

BigMike said...

About a month ago I read one of your articles for the first time and was so entertained I actually checked to see who the author was. I then quickly forgot who the author was. But came across another article today (smart phones at concerts) and realized your humor wasn't a one-time thing! AND you have cool interests (excellent music taste). So cheers to your diet coke addiction and your BA dog, you have a new fan. And I have some reading to catch up on.

Anonymous said...

I've been to a few creed concerts and they actually have a great live performance. I brought a friend who used to make fun of me for liking them and even said he had to admit it was a great show. They have very talented musicians. Guitar player has been guitar magazines guitar player of the year three times. I don't know how that comment made sense to make it in your article. I think it's just the easy popular thing to bash them , when the majority if people couldn't even name five if there sings aside from the big hits. There fans go to there shows to see hard rock because that's what there CDs contain. Most people ask aren't they a Christian band? Mainly as a reflex cuz that's how the media started portraying them. I think the casual listener would've never even made that connection. They have always said they are not a Christian band. Everyone mentions god in their music I don't know why creed gets crap for it. If you have been to a concert and was disappointed that's one thing but most people choose that easy joke without knowing anything about the band. I just wanna defend the fans as someone who follows them a lot and know a lot about them. They sold over 30 million albums for a reason so I guess some people like them. The common question I ask is why do u hate them aside from joining in on the joke . I find it strange that there songs are so offensive to people. There's plenty of other untalented artists who don't write or play any instruments. I'm sure this comment makes me look like a square because I'm a creed fan but I guess that's the easy thing to decide

Anonymous said...

You suck as journalist

Holly Patrick said...

I read your article about Nightmare Factory. You had me cracking up the whole time! So much so that I had to visit your blog. Love it!

Anonymous said...

Yikes!

Ya needs ta learn ta spell, eh?

Like: its and it's: "much sat on it's fat..."

Yikes!

Dn

Canada's National Post explained that the vessel pretty much sat on it's fat, metal butt in that dock in Newfoundland for over two years, "virtually guaranteeing" that the ship is infested with hundreds of these little bastards. And since there's no food on board, the rats have likely turned on each other.

Kinsey Blount said...

I was dying of laughter when I read your article about the cannibal rats. You are so funny!

Anonymous said...

Loved your article of the ghost ship and cannibal rats. We could do with something completely different in terms of disasters :)
Jane

Anonymous said...

I read your recent article about bad taxidermy. I wasn't impressed with your professionalism. I don't know why you had to stereotype hunters and taxidermists. Everyone has their opinions, but why go out of your way to make them seem like bad people? Not all hunters chug a 12 pack before they go hunt. Not all hunters hunt just for that trophy kill. A very very small population may do that, but most hunters are not what you describe. It makes me upset that you expressed your false stereotype in a so called "professional article". I'm deleting the CNN app and I'll download a different news app. I don't care what your opinions are, but at least keep them to yourself.

Jamie Harbison said...

I love your column, and love how you always make me laugh, or nod bc I would've said the same thing. Your column is a breath of fresh air from everyone else, and I am so glad that you do what you do. We need more humor, with all the tragedy in the world. When we watch your videos, my friends and I laugh til we cry at times. I have yet to be disappointed! ! I especially loved this week's taxidermy article. I have a lot of friends who hunt and will mount their kills, and they loved it, even the ones who don't drink beer when they hunt, and in turn they went to both sites to see the pictures and we're sharing away. Keep up the amazing work!!!!